Brené Brown's book Daring Greatly (I told you we would return to it) overall discusses this idea that we must be willing to experience vulnerable situations and BE vulnerable in order to live a little happier and succeed in life. Vulnerability leads to trusting relationships and overall greater gains despite any setbacks that may occur along the way. 

Living in London I thoroughly enjoyed the chapter on minding the gap between who we are and who we want to be. Vulnerability and daring greatly come into play when we are willing to step out of our comfort zone in order to experience professional or personal growth. 

WHO ARE YOU?

To mind the gap between who we are and who we want to be we must, first, figure out who we are. It's important to remember that you will never 100% know who you are. That's a myth we tell ourselves, but it's important to recognize your strengths and weaknesses and understand to some degree where you fit in in the world. We've all gone through that phase where we tried fitting into a mold that didn't fit us and, eventually, we learn that it is best to just be ourself. These experiences help us fit into our correct mold. I think we have to figure out who we aren't in order to figure out who we might be. This is not to say that we should try to change who we are. I'm simply saying that we must have a certain level of self-awareness so that we can 1) effectively network and market ourselves to potential employers and 2) steer our lives in the direction that WE choose and no one else. 

This is a defining decade for us. Now don’t let that scare you. We all change and grow throughout life, but many of the decisions that we make throughout the next few years will shape who we become and the path our life takes. 

WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE? 

By determining who we are now we can pave a path towards the person we want to become. We can make the decisions that will get us safely over the gap. This self-awareness will help you decide who you want to be throughout your life. The person you want to become. What do you want people to say about you at your funeral? What kind of parent do you want to be? What kind of lover? What kind of employee? Manager? These are things we must ask ourselves now, as young professionals. 

MIND THE GAP BETWEEN

Minding the gap does not mean that we need to invent a new way to get to the other side. It simply means to be aware of where you are stepping. To make the decisions that will make us the happiest over the long haul of our life. At some point we have to start looking beyond Friday night. We must look at the effect of our decisions on our life as a WHOLE. As we enter our third decade we are no longer allowed to think of ourselves as invincible. We must realize that we are fragile, vulnerable creatures that require certain things in order to not only survive this life we are given, but live a full life as well. These necessities are the gap that must be minded. Will you mind the gap or simply stay on one side? 

How do you work to understand yourself? What steps are you taking to become who you want to be? 

Check out my post Good Enough to read about Brené's philosophy on our culture of scarcity. 

As a 20-something woman there are a few things we must realize in regards to beauty and body size: 
     1) There are younger girls looking up to us for guidance. We are the ones teaching them how to find value in their bodies. We are the ones teaching them what beautiful is. 
     2) You are too old to be swayed by the media. If you are not questioning the images in the media, then you did not learn enough in college. If you should learn one thing in college it is to think for yourself and question the things around you. 
      3) Its time to grow up. You can no longer blame anybody else for your own health or body issues. 

I have struggled with body dismorphia issues since the 7th grade. Almost ten years later I have this to say: we need to stop teaching girls that beauty is equated with body size and I mean all body sizes. Skinny is not necessarily pretty nor is it always healthy. Some people ARE more petite than others. They may also have a faster metabolism, but it is an injustice to teach them that they are beautiful because they are small. This is not always the case, but they could potentially be engaging is some very unhealthy practices that keep their body that size.

On the other hand, it’s an even bigger injustice to teach girls that are overweight or obese that their bodies are beautiful. I think that these girls are mentally healthy and I will support confidence in your body size until the day I die; however, these girls are not physically healthy. They are potentially killing themselves very, very slowly. They’re increasing their risks of diabetes, hypertension and other diseases. I also don’t want to support a super muscular body as beautiful either. These athletes put a lot of stress on their bodies and may not be able to maintain that sort of lifestyle for a lifetime.

In fact, I don’t want to support ANY body size as beautiful because at the end of the day each person defines beauty in a slightly different way. Yes, there are cultural norms, but everyone’s brain is programmed differently and we must recognize that.

What I DO want to support is health. Physical and mental health. A healthy weight. A healthy heart. Healthy muscles and joints. Healthy confidence levels. A healthy amount of self-esteem.