As we all head back to school, remember:
Let's talk about something shallow for a minute....like my love life... or the lack there of. I was slightly attracted to a guy and he was head-over-heels in love with me....okay that's an exaggeration...but in my defense he definitely liked me a lot more. We were never in a relationship, but you would have thought that we were married the way we argued. In the end there was a nasty argument and who knows if we will ever talk to each other on a personal level again.
The problem could be summed up with one word: POWER. This boy (males never actually become men in my opinion) wanted to control me and I rocked his boat when I didn't bow down at his feet and succumb to his rein. I am a fiercely I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T young woman and the more you try to control me the more independent I behave. I will ABSOLUTELY NOT let a boy dictate my every action. Despite the complex arguments I will enjoy this abeyance without a boy and "will always remember him fondly....as an asshole" (nicely said by my newest celebrity role model Carrie Bradshaw).
Unbeknownst to this power-mongrel I felt EMPOWERED when the last nasty argument was over. I'm pretty sure he expected me to be sitting at home by myself, eating a pint of ice cream and watching sappy love movies. Quite the contrary, I grabbed my heels, a sexy outfit and shared my new found empowerment with some drag queens.
I was, first and foremost, glad the relationship was over. Second, I felt like a strong ass independent young woman knowing that I rocked a, much older, man's boat, shook him to his core and tested many of the things he knew about women. If that feeling doesn't move you to confidence as a woman then I don't know what will.
So I'm back to living the single life. My short-lived absence from this lifestyle afforded me the opportunity to learn a few things.... And we all know I never miss an opportunity to learn something new.
There are times in my life when I am so comfortable being single that I wonder if I'm even meant to be married.
Maybe I'm one of those women and, you know what, I'm okay with that. Especially after my new found empowerment. Some people aren't meant to be in a long-term relationship. It's not because they're bad at relationships or defective in some way, it's just that they don't necessarily need someone to complete their life. Maybe they already have enough loving people to share their life with that anymore people would be overwhelming. Maybe they want the ability to love so many people and touch so many lives that having a romantic relationship restricts them.
Finding a significant other is most definitely part of adulthood. If you would have asked my 7 years ago I would have thought that I would at least be engaged by this point in my life. The thing about finding a significant other is that there is no deadline. There is no expiration date. You can be single at any age and find love at any age.
We've all heard that the key to a good relationship is communication, NEWS FLASH, it's not the only key and simply communicating is not enough. As I just discovered, you can communicate in the WRONG way and it will hurt the relationship. You don't have to have the exact same communication style as the other person, but there should be similarities. Each person should bend a little for the other. Get out of relationships where the other person expects you to bend over backwards for them. Eventually, all the weight will cause you to fall.
It's also important to remember whom you confide in. Fidelity is just as important in a relationship as communication. If you notice you have a wandering eye, check yourself and ensure that you are truly faithful and attracted to your current significant other.
Lesson #6: You don't need a man to become an adult. What you need are healthy relationships that enhance your life and bring you happiness, comfort and joy.
The BIG question in my life right now is "What do I want to be when I grow up?"
I am clearly taking my complete inability to decide what I want to do with my life seriously.