When my roommates and I realized that one of the rooms was significantly larger than another we began the great debate of who was going to get which room. One girl is studying fashion design and, very fairly, pointed out that she will need room for her mannequin, sewing stuff, fabric, and space so she can spread out and work. As a business student my lack of supplies cannot argue with her abundance of them. After we all proclaimed that we needed any room BUT the smallest room I put my big girl britches on and claimed this oversized closet.
Over the past week I have been able to make it more homely and less sterile (The creme walls and light tan floors are only SLIGHTLY darker than a hospital white, the pictures make them look more yellow than they really are. Don't be fooled).
I have spent a few hours perched on the stairs under the window with Brené Brown’s book Daring Greatly (which is fabulous may I add). In the very first chapter she discusses our “culture of scarcity.” We are taught that we are never enough, we never have enough, we can never do enough and this leads to a variety of problems. Couple this scarcity culture with some good ol' consumerism and we pile on the belongings and feelings of unworthiness like a fat kid at the toppings bar in SweetFrogs. We either give up all hope or, worse, become a perfectionist.
Brené explains that in order to live a more fulfilled life we must be content with “good enough.” We must recognize that not everyone is going to like us, and that we may not have the skills for a certain task. The happiest people are the ones who are content with a few imperfections. They do their best and when it is enough they set their boundaries and go about life. They do not obsess over every detail. They do not stare in their flatmates’ rooms with envy.
As a perfectionist I find it INCREDIBLY hard to be content with “good enough.” There is ALWAYS something else that could have been done. Perfectionism only leads to stress and anxiety. As 20-somethings we must try to set these boundaries before they’re even laid. If we do this I think we’ll find happiness a little more quickly.
I have looked at my flatmates rooms and I have to say one thing with honest conviction. My room is just enough for me.
I'm sure there will be more posts discussing Brené's book (This small blurb does not even BEGIN to describe her research); however, if you're interested in learning more about her and her work on vulnerability here on some great links: