Just so you know, I am not going to talk about anything mind boggling. I’m simply going to remind you of something that we sometimes forget in our pursuit of happiness.

I hosted a little expat Thanksgiving last weekend and it reminded me of how grateful I am for the people around me, both here and at home. I was surrounded by all of these amazing people from all over the world and we all agreed that, more than anything, we were grateful for each other. Without each other we could not be happy. 

We often underestimate how much we need people. We fight vigilantly to be independent at various points in our lives. We get tired of depending so heavily on other people and want the ability to do it alone. Rarely do we recognize the impact that these people actually have on us. We think that we WANT them in our life, but don’t necessarily NEED them to be happy.

Being so far from my friends and family has helped me to realize that we(I) need people more than we’re(I’m) sometimes willing to admit and these people are the key to our happiness. They say that we don’t know what we have until its gone and the cliché is so true. This is one of the many keys to a happier life, a grateful spirit for the people around you. They've made you who you are and they may not always be so accessible (despite technological advances). 


Remember to let these people know that you are grateful for them. Whether they’re far away or right beside you. Don’t underestimate the impact that a simple text or card could have on someone’s day. You'll find a little more love in your life and if that doesn't make you happy then I don't know what will. 


 So much love and thanks from me to you! Enjoy your Thanksgiving and try not to let Black Friday overshadow your quality time with friends and family.

My timeline posts fit into one of three categories. 1) people getting engaged 2) people getting married and 3) people who went to the wedding. I sit back on my couch in an oversized sweatshirt, leggings, and messy bun and think "thank God I'm single." I'm very excited for all of these people who are taking this step in their relationship, but can't help but think of all of the other things that I can do without a significant other. So here they are: 13 things to do besides get engaged. 

1- Have a one night stand (nobody's going to get upset with you).
2- Learn a new language. 
3- Eat a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream while binge watching episodes of Sherlock Holmes (or whatever you show of choice is). 
4- Start a new hobby.
5- Go to a different country (and meet a cute boy...or girl). 
6- Date yourself.
7- Plan your wedding on pinterest (because its kind of weird once you're in a relationship). 
8- Not shave your legs for a week or two or three.
9- Buy lingerie for yourself (because you deserve to look good!). 
10- Finally read all of the books on your booklist.
11- Learn to cook (because we all know you’re tired of ramen and take away).
12- Sleep diagonally!
13- Eat all of the ice cream/popcorn. Drink all of the wine. Basically, don't share with anyone...like ever. 

Brené Brown's book Daring Greatly (I told you we would return to it) overall discusses this idea that we must be willing to experience vulnerable situations and BE vulnerable in order to live a little happier and succeed in life. Vulnerability leads to trusting relationships and overall greater gains despite any setbacks that may occur along the way. 

Living in London I thoroughly enjoyed the chapter on minding the gap between who we are and who we want to be. Vulnerability and daring greatly come into play when we are willing to step out of our comfort zone in order to experience professional or personal growth. 

WHO ARE YOU?

To mind the gap between who we are and who we want to be we must, first, figure out who we are. It's important to remember that you will never 100% know who you are. That's a myth we tell ourselves, but it's important to recognize your strengths and weaknesses and understand to some degree where you fit in in the world. We've all gone through that phase where we tried fitting into a mold that didn't fit us and, eventually, we learn that it is best to just be ourself. These experiences help us fit into our correct mold. I think we have to figure out who we aren't in order to figure out who we might be. This is not to say that we should try to change who we are. I'm simply saying that we must have a certain level of self-awareness so that we can 1) effectively network and market ourselves to potential employers and 2) steer our lives in the direction that WE choose and no one else. 

This is a defining decade for us. Now don’t let that scare you. We all change and grow throughout life, but many of the decisions that we make throughout the next few years will shape who we become and the path our life takes. 

WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE? 

By determining who we are now we can pave a path towards the person we want to become. We can make the decisions that will get us safely over the gap. This self-awareness will help you decide who you want to be throughout your life. The person you want to become. What do you want people to say about you at your funeral? What kind of parent do you want to be? What kind of lover? What kind of employee? Manager? These are things we must ask ourselves now, as young professionals. 

MIND THE GAP BETWEEN

Minding the gap does not mean that we need to invent a new way to get to the other side. It simply means to be aware of where you are stepping. To make the decisions that will make us the happiest over the long haul of our life. At some point we have to start looking beyond Friday night. We must look at the effect of our decisions on our life as a WHOLE. As we enter our third decade we are no longer allowed to think of ourselves as invincible. We must realize that we are fragile, vulnerable creatures that require certain things in order to not only survive this life we are given, but live a full life as well. These necessities are the gap that must be minded. Will you mind the gap or simply stay on one side? 

How do you work to understand yourself? What steps are you taking to become who you want to be? 

Check out my post Good Enough to read about Brené's philosophy on our culture of scarcity.